Merry Christmas

Well, another breathless December has taken place. It has been crazy as usual(as evidenced by the fact I have not blogged all month). I am looking forward to the weekend though, particularly after I get my cleaning, cooking, and shopping done. Thank you, city of Fayetteville, for throwing a wrench into that for a few days, but God is in control, and all has worked out. I have lived, maybe thrived, through a cantata, two separate concerts, staff dinners, and various opportunities to sing for Sunday school classes, and church groups. I have been nearly giddy today as things have slowed down, and I have accomplished absolutely nothing at work. I realize today that I kind of missed my annual office gathering in Spring Lake, and I would have loved to have seen the crew today. Jamie got to go to Fayetteville to pick up the check the city lost, but I was singing for our seniors today and could not go. I am hoping to head that way one day next week while the kids are out of school to see everyone. But, in all of this, I am acutely aware of the fact that I am where I am supposed to be no matter how unexpected, unwanted, or unlikely. It has been good, and a joyful time. God has been good to us this year, and I am thankful. There is no way to explain the peace or joy that comes from being where God wants you, and I have experienced that in the past couple of months.

I am very excited about worship this Sunday. Christmas Eve is one of my favorite times of worship as it conjures memories of the past. I am anxious this year to add a Moravian Love Feast to my schedule. I went to one last year at a Methodist church in Fayetteville. This year I am actually in Moravian country, and I hope to get to one with my family, or at least a portion of it.

I am saddened by the fact I do not get to see my extended family this Christmas, particularly as my grandfather is doing so poorly and other family members hurting, but I know that they know I love them and are thinking about them. Although, I do not tell them nearly enough. I am guilty of that all the way around, so:

to those of you near and far who know me and read this little bit of randomness and understand it, and me, completely (or know me and just shake your head):

I love you all and wish we could spend the holiday together. I don't say it enough, and there is no way to truly express the depth of my love in words, but you are a blessing to me. Wish we could worship together on Christmas Eve as in days past. I love you.

Yet another song

Ok, so what can I say? I think in music. One of these days maybe I'll post one of my own, but for now, I'll share the work of one more poetic than I, in this case, David Crowder. This may be one of those that is not as profound without the music (think totally rockin' with total abandon, I listen to it and feel like I am spinning around in circles in a field under a glorious blue sky. I know it's random, but it is pure, unadulterated reveling in God's love). It is one of my favorites:

You ARe My Joy

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With HIs breth in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hole it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me and so I propose the lettting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy. You are my joy. You are my joy.
I need to catch my breath. I need to.
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now.
I'm laughing so hard...

a good morning

Ok, so this has been a good morning. My daughter had to be at school early to work on something, so both of the kids went to school early, and I settled in for my quiet time at Starbucks, something I never get to do. I am already in a good mood because I have friends from Spring Lake coming my way today, and I am excited. My maple macchiato was fabulous. My devotion inspired a song (always a good day when that happens). I got a call from my sister, and while the content of the call was not necesarily good, it is always great to talk to my sister. I knew that I would head to the office for a few minutes today, but the rest of the day is mine to do with as I wish-probably cleaning before the crew comes. Anyway, it has been good. I did, however, receive a shock. As I was finishing my quiet time, I looked up at the pictures on the wall. I realized that the color I have just painted my new living room is the exact color of the walls at Starbucks. Now, granted, I usually get my coffee to go, and I don't hang out a lot inside. Is it possible I am obsessed? Do I now officially have a problem? I am not sure of the explanation, but it cannot be good. Did I mention the color matches wonderfully a small accent in my furmiture? Good decorating vs. macchiato/latte obsession....

The funny thing is, without lots of cream and added flavors, I hate coffee. Such is the dichotomy that is me. : )

modern hymn

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure;
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sing that held Him there
Until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer.
But this I know with all my heart;
His wounds have paid my ransom.

written by Stuart Townend

And now for something totally different...

After being reminded of it by a friend, I thought I would add this. I realize it is not nearly so deep as the Weird Al thing, but it speaks to my heart almost as much : )

It is but a portion of the breastplate of St. Francis:


Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me.

Amen, so be it.

Randon question of the day

Does being a huge Weird Al Yankovic fan automatically make you "White & Nerdy"? If you don't get this, check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWs1FF-BS7c. Needless to say, I am a huge fan. Geeks of the world, unite!

Daddy knows best

Ok, so I got an email from my dad this week. This one's a keeper, encouraging me in my new ministry position, giving a little advice, telling me he was proud of me. (He is enjoying being able to check out what I am doing via the church website.) Anyway, it was a cool daddy/daughter moment, and I had to keep a copy( I will need to read it the next time I screw up big!)

So, I am pondering: if I were to receive an email from my Abba in my new position, what would it say? I think that He too would encourage me. I hope He would be proud of me as well. What advice would He give in my new position, knowing that He is aware of who I am(good and bad), the pitfalls and joys of this place, the history that I have yet to learn, etc... What would my Abba advise? And then I am reminded, once again, of my failure to consistently seek His face, of my innate ability to get really busy doing what should be His work without looking to Him to determine how to do it. I think that my Abba probably has to shake His head much like my earthly father does, and I am reminded to be thankful for love, patience, and grace.

Faith is a verb

Ok, so I am completely feeling like the father of the posessed boy who told Jesus, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" It is interesting to me that I can know without a shadow of a doubt what God is telling me to do but still question His ability to work out the details. I am a control freak, for sure, and it becomes more obvious to me every day during this time of transition that I have a hard time completely letting go and letting God deal with every detail. I know that God is faithful, but I have a hard time being full of faith in regards to his faithfulness. How is it that I can be willing to trust enough to make a long distance move, but not enough to trust Him to provide everything I need in the meantime?

Lifesong

Casting Crowns

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Chorus:
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord, I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you